Feb 26, 2011

B stands for Bullshit.

Evaluation in HKIEd is pretty simple:

A stands for Asslicking
B stands for Bullshit (writing skills)
C stands for Common knowledge
D stands for Dumbass
F stands for Fucking Pathetic

Student performing well or with excellent grades is a challenging task for every university to achieve. Here in HKIEd it is pretty easy because every student in this unit is an exceptional talent. So if you have passed the qualifications  and accepted in you are on your way to success and wealth – and people treat you with respect. Those coming from abroad are in a position to be some kind of professionals, having a word “star” written on their foreheads. And stars of course have their own rules. Some examples: Every time you do something wrong, people cannot express their true emotions. “I’m sorry” comes out of their mouths, not ours. I know this cause I got caught stealing a book from out library. This intentional act of evil was of course prized with a verbal warning. But they were sorry, of course.

Every reminder here is gentle. If you are caught trying to kill a man in the pantry, next day you will undoubtedly get a gentle reminder which instructs you not to do it – at least not in the pantry. There are some exceptions though. Finnish students here are not only “stars” but “superstars”. They are told to possess some kind of psychic powers and gifts of spelling casts. Every time I say something in Finnish, people take out their rabbit foots and start repeating some protecting mantras. In the Bible this is called glossolalia but in Finland it’s called expressing yourself verbally.

People here think that I am a scientist cause I always carry lot’s of books with me. So it is not hard to become a scientist around here. In reality I’m just giving them an impression that I can read and have overwhelming knowledge about life. There is one old man in the library always working and making merit to science. But every time I pass him he normally does everything but science. I have the same kind of friends back home who think alike with this man: scientific process is self-finishing, they say, it only needs physical attendance. This is how our scientific milestones are made. 

Last week I had a hot-pot-dinner with a group of friendly Chinese. Hot-Pot is a traditional way of cooking and socializing: all eaters are gathered around a table full of different food. In the middle of the table there is a stove and one pot. Goal is to cook and eat everything. Okay. I was last to arrive. The table was so stuffed with food that I couldn’t see from the other side of the table to the other: vegetables, tofu, squid, meat in different forms, fish, corn…I thought that there were others still coming - like the whole institute. But after a while the truth came out. We were all about to die out of sloth. With that amount of food you could feed the country of Rwanda.     

I had an assignment in which I had to find out whether implementing democracy in China is really a good thing. It made me think about the nature of democracy. Governing a country is all about results, it has nothing to do with the actual mechanism. So even despotism or tribalism are wise options if they secure certain human rights and bring the good to the people. Every political ambition is bringing about the best results possible. And I don’t say democracy is the only available solution to achieve stabile welfare or sufficient living standards. Of course democracy is also all about making sure that the risks of wrongdoing are minimized. But yes, next we will notice how the Norwegian want to join the EMU or how Lapland revolts for indepence.

I’m about to start my sabbath which hopefully does not turn out to be black. Then I will keep a week off. I have worked like a mule for the past two weeks and deserve a break. In Finland it is cold I have heard, my condolences: 22+.

         

Feb 18, 2011

Let´s vote!

Long time no see, sorry, been busy. And had no interest in writing to you. 

I fought against unknown enemy for 10 days but now I have good news; I can hold my shit again for more than 4 hours! Supposedly Al-Qaida is amazed how I survived from their cunningly executed attack which normally has efficiency rate above 95 %, and is planning to bomb my hall or to poison my daily muffin. This is what I could call real tactical warfare. Sadly in this first time opponent was just too strong for them. Next time Osama will leave me no chance.

But now I am happy again having lost four kilos of muscle mass. People don´t recognize me and keep´s asking: Who is this mysterious stranger? I tell them like Jesus told his disciples: ”Can´t you imbesils se-ee, it´s Me-ee – your master.”

This week´s theme is student activity in HKIEd. You know there is election all year round here in the institute. When one ends, another begins. Every time when the election begins (or continues endlessly) I am very confused what is the fuzz all about: what is the purpose for them to gather votes and go and tease people? When I go and ask nobody seems to know. What is your political stand? Who is your leader (can´t stand rivals)? What are your main political issues (better noodles in cantine? free library services? no more naked exchange students making silent statements? What?) Silence. At least those in the opposition reveal what is the main idea of making politics: it is all about having fun. Sounds like politics in Finland. And they deliver free pens. It is enough for me to sell my vote. But even if students are totally outsiders in their own political project what it comes to raised issues, they know how to put up a good show. All the parties have their own songs and brands. And when a group of ten people comes in front of your dorm in the morning to sing a serenade for their lovely supporters even a skeptic like me is convinced that there is something disturbing in political pretension.
Okay but students do also lots of things that can actually make a difference. They promote culture. Last week they performed a play which told a story about a female mass murderer. It was meant as a child´s play but there were also adults in the audience. I did not see in the end but I heard it was in many ways didactic. So this how cultural pedagogy is done here, impressive indeed. Now the student organizations are also preparing a singing contest which is very alike with Idols in Finland. People who actually don´t really understand what is their target in life try to become famous and get publicity. And all that they get is a bad self-esteem. Everyone cannot be an idol unfortunately, except Billy of course. Karaoke is actually very popular in Hong Kong and in my opinion Karaokebar is a place where devil makes her greatest attribution to humans. And if singing is not bad enough there is also held events where you can show your dancing talents. For me they already said that I could not join because I would create hysteria those in the audience. Understandable but racist.
And then there is election, no...that I mentioned already. 

Also the different sports organizations are very (hyper)active. When you decide that football would be perfect choice to improve the quality of your present student life – think again. The men´s football team practices four times a week three hours per each session. That I could call devotion and outstanding managing. I would understand if they would play in such a level that players need to train like professionals, but no. No ambition or high standard competition. Of course this argument is only based on rumours. It has nothing to do with the fact that i rejected from the team. But anyway, sports is overestimated way to spend your precious time on this planet. Better way is to do science, like I have done already for three days. But this is a secret, as secret as Victoria´s.

Next time I will tell you how I broke the law and nearly got caught. Missing you already <3

Nipa  

Feb 7, 2011

Indonesian Spirit

Iso Moro,

Indonesia had the pleasure of welcoming Mr. Finland and his three associates into their lovely country on the 26. of January. The local officials have still lots to learn about how to keep international diplomats satisfied because they had forgotten the red carpet and other formal solemnities. Instead of these we got before our eyes a city which you could call justly “something different”.

Our first stop in Medan, capitol of Northern Sumatra, offered as few memorable experiences. Cockroaches and leaking roofs wasn’t the most desirable welcome but at least we didn’t get mobbed, thanks to my huge size, excellent leadership and Bahasa Indonesia (official language) speaking skills. There wasn’t much to see in Medan, so I think big majority of our group members were feeling a bit like home. At least as a mark of sophistication both KFC and McDonalds had their representatives at present. In Medan you could see men with long nails and travel in busses made for midgets. For our girls this caused no problems.

In Indonesia you pay with rupiahs, and every foreigner is there like a millionaire (nothing new to me). Living expenses are cheap, but again beer is quite overpriced. Muslims don’t drink beer - at least in public.
From place to another you can get by using opelets or rickshaws, again not so comfortable way of traveling for people over 145 cm.

Second stop was held in Berastagi, located in the mountains. There we tried to get to see the nearby volcano but because of bad relations between Indonesia and Liechtenstein (Indonesia has not officially recognized Liechtenstein) we were forced to move on. Indonesian landscape is a mixture of steep mountains, fertile plains and waters. From the mountains there were usually breathtaking sights to the valleys.
You could often see monkeys waving to their leader from the road banks.

Lake Toba is the area which is considered one of the bagbackers “must-go” attractions. Even Madventurers have been there and because of their pre-work also Finns have respected the area with their presence many times. I had to replay comments like “Kuuma kissa”, “Hyva perse” and “Miten menee?” several times and every time they were impressed of my talent to turn this mythical language understandable for them.

During rainy season tourists are not much to be seen so we had plenty of space and peace at our proposal. Samosir turned out to be a great place for cycling. Everyone else expect I were nearly burned alive because of the sun but luckily I remembered precautionary means to protect my precious skin.  

From Lake Toba we turned our heads to Bukit Lawang, a place told to be inhabitated by Orangutans, big monkeys familiar to those living in Sweden where they have formed an actual society. Quite impressive!
Many say that I have a gift of animal whispering. I have proven this assumption true also by speaking to Swiss people, thought to be the most highly organized group of chimpanzees, so my preparations for the jungle expedition were well made. We stayed one night in the darkness of the jungle surrounded by food stealing monkeys, lizards, butterflies and other dangerous and vicious creatures you can imagine. Orangutans were quite friendly also, they made several attempts to approach me, but I declined their requests by saying “that I was already in a relationship”.

After Bukit Lawang one of us was gone, A.J decided to take a hike and leave me, so there were only three of us left. I thanked god for saving me from A.Js singing (god had already let me down one time by saving A.J from the raft) and we continued onwards. Last target would be Pulau Weh, the promised island of Malaria.

Pulau Weh was all about the Indian Ocean, snorkeling, diving, relaxing, eating and taking sun baths. So not for my taste, I prefer exploring filthy streets of crowded urban cities and wondering in shopping malls hoping to find “something personal to wear” or if lucky a new version of Apple’s Ipoo. Pulau Weh was also disappointing because I didn’t get highly anticipated malaria, all I got was some kind of B-status shit disease, which won’t even put you up for the test. But it is not always easy to be made out of steel, even though my ass and stomach proved to be made from false materials. I may have to change these parts to new ones but it is hard to give these old ones away cause they look so good.  

Okay, but the trip was awesome, I managed to cope with three unstable mental patients who seemed to get along quite fine even though it was their first time out for a long time. This time episode was also considered to the youngest of the herd, so the general tone has been kept serious. This way also my travel companions can hopefully enjoy it more.

Till next time.