Mar 10, 2011

of Love and Romance

Hello there. 

Few words about romance. Romance is the key ingredient of lasting relationships and cardinal (not carnal) virtue which is the last stronghold against bedroom boredom. Here is selected picks for you to avoid catastrophe in your lovelife.

  1. Choose a companion that you are actually interested in. Choose at least someone you already know. Romance cannot exist between people who are total strangers to each other. Romance without previous engagement is like shopping, you get what you want, pay and leave. And usually you just feel sorry for using too much time and money without true benefit. Sometimes shopping can be good therapy anyhow.
  2. Call your friends while making love. Make romance a social and shared phenomenon.
  3. When making love keep a mask on. So you will avoid being recognized if you want to hide your true identity. Plastic bag works also.
  4. Keep your clothes on when making love. So you will not have to put them back on when leaving. Lovemaking is often faked so why bother taking clothes off.
  5. Try to think lovemaking like a marathon. If you fail it is not the end of the world. You just have to practice more and understand that some may have more talents and better equipment than you have. And try to drink a lot before the actual performance. Try still avoid vomiting if execution is too much for your current fitness. After all lovemaking requires stamina and perseverance.
  6. When you make love, take breaks every now and then. Have a snack or a drink. Nothing heavy though.
  7. Systematize a love theory which has following parts: lead-in, methods, conclusions, ethics, concepts and measures. Remember that love is usually practice about theory.
  8. Think foreplay as a check-up. It is the phase of game when both participants go through their gear and make sure that everything is where it should be.
  9. Try to act like you were someone else or even better, try to think that you were having fun with your high-school teacher. Teachers are always hot.
  10. Role-play is always encouraged. Don't wear costumes though. Lovemaking is nearly always about playing either Eve or Adam. If you really have to use your gardrobe creatively, choose to perform figures like Captain Hook, Uncle Scrooge, Chewbacca or one of the seven Dwarfs and make a full makeup. That should spice up things a bit.
  11. Listen to music which makes you fully sentimental like Bon Jovi, Celine Dion or Elton John. Also Gladys Knight´s song ”Better love next time” or Marvin Gaye´s ”Is that enough” works beautifully.
  12. After the rally is over don´t say anything because silence is golden. And if the romance was not properly conducted, is better not to try and fix it with words.
  13. Try to remember that romance is globally shared need and emotional motivation. Still people tend to give it different features and contents. In Finland it is nice to make love every six years, in Sweden it is typical to cultivate among groups of men, in Poland people are so poor that it is their only hobby which doesn´t cost anything, in Germany movies are made out of romance, In France romance means exchange of baquettes in a friendly manner, in Britain people only make love in the dark, in Italy romance equals act between two people who both think that style really matters, In America people make love if they can fit into a same bed, In Africa love making is a rite to generate rain, In China if we stare the population it becomes obvious that love is the only thing they have in mind and in the Netherlands hopefully no one makes love – it is against European policy of Human Rights.

How do I know about these matters is a true mystery. I just know

1 comment:

  1. Paras blogi tähän mennessä, vain vähän asiavirheitä!