Jan 21, 2011

I love Chinese

Ding Dong - said bell in the head of King Kong.  

I did an experiment by using MTR. MTR does not stand for ”Men testing Roll-on” but it is Hong Kong´s Metro. It takes an hour and 30 minutes to hurry back from Hong Kong island to my secret hideout in Taipo University. So it gives you somekind of scale of HKs actual size. Rich people like me can also use taxi services but sometimes you can act as if you were one of the rest and use the metro. In East Rail Line luckily us wellfortuned have our own carts. Taxis are not as expensive as in Finland, but normally when I use them I am too drunk to pay, so actually I dont know the rates.

In Hong Kong people have nearly always names which include first name such as Bobby, Ronnie, Heather or Kilimanjaro. Sometimes names sound funny but usually they make life a lot easier. Same you cannot say about chinese names. I have like maybe 10 chinese acquintances but cannot name even one. Maybe I should call them all Chang or Tsung, it cannot go far from the truth. But I like all my chinese friends very much. We all hate Japanese and love incense sticks. We also believe that life consists of five elements which is actually quite rational thinking. There is five fingers, five players on ice in ice-hockey, five Power Rangers, five wise people in Sweden, five changes to have a girlfriend in your whole life, five honest politicians in Russia, five days in a week if you dont count the weekend and so on...

Tourmanager Mikko Koivisto has left Hong Kong for Vietnam. He had to change his plans quickly cause he found out that in Thailand you cannot establish a bordel where you would only offer furry animals for pleasure. Mikko is by the way loyal to Panasonic even he could do better with Canon. Quoting my friend here by saying that ”with Cannon – You can”. But we had a good time. We visited local horseracetrack where Mikko and his adjutant enjoyed each other happily. Mikko couldn´t find the Great Wall in Hong Kong even if he tried very hard. And no, Hong Kong is not the capitol of China.

Tian Tai Buddha was Big – as they promised in some advertisement. Also measured in finnish standards. You have to be careful everytime when locals say that something is Big. L is not definetely Large and neither is XL something like Large with Extra dressing. Of course it is understandable that a man of my size is like a Godzilla here but even still. Anyway The Buddha was Large or even Extra Large. It protects the city with a wide grin on his face. Actually if someone would tell him a bad joke he would still keep smiling. And why stop there. I would say that anyone made of gold in that kind of totality should keep on smirking till the end of days. And that he will do apparently. Cable Car to the Buddha was also Big Experience even for me who is little bit afraid of heights – or because of that. Without this fear I would already be a fighter pilot. We were wondering with Mikko how much fun it would be to have sex in one of the carts, obviously it wouldn´t be so much fun if there would be the maximum amount of people allowed (16 or 1265 kg) on board that time or a person with you who would be over the weight limit. And of course we were not thinking of having sex together. But that was only a mind game. Forget it.

Okay, but thats about it for today. Next wednesday I´m flying to Indonesia to meet the aboriginals and swim in BORAT-swimsuit. Maybe I will also chase some sharks for food. I am also planning to take my surfing pictures for the Chippendales calendar 2012.


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