Jan 16, 2011

Mr.Moustache and Tour Manager

Hello alles, ich bin Tuomas. I want to be international as you know.

I have found the Triads, a criminal syndicate which dominates Hong Kong´s underworld
and drug and prostitute businesses. I belive they use 7-Elevens as their base to transmit
illegal products to unaware citizens. 7-Elevens are stores which sell all kinds of daily
necessities and you can find them all over HK. Chain´s name comes from opening hours, as heard.
Luckily the people of Hong Kong is not alone. They have a saviour, a mysterious hero,
who is determined to put an end to Triads vicious plans. He calls himself Mr. Moustache.
I visited one shop wich claimed with these exact words "Even Clark Kent dresses in Chocolate".
So Chocolate is somekind of brand for superheroes I concluded. But to my great disappointment I didn´t find any costumes from Mr. Moustache. Batman and Superman were openly on display, but no sign of Mr. Moustache, who supposedly is the only hope for this city crying out of despair and constant disorder. So I bought only a pair of Spiderman sock and Catwoman´s brassiere, which are of course fake because Catwoman doesn´t wear any bra.  

Mr. Moustache moves only night time. He wears bushy moustaches which disguises him. Without his moustache he is as mortal as anyone else. Mr. Moustache is fearsome sight; he moves with the speed of sound and does acrobatic moves in all spaces. Sometimes Mr. Moustache can be spotted in Burger King where he gathers energy and plans his cunning counter attacks
against organized crime. Nobody knows his true identity but as rumored in newspapers "he must be stunningly good-looking, ingenious and courageous and gifted with paranormal talents which he uses for the benefit of mankind". Now the people of HK is holding their breath and waiting what will happen next.
As a close friend and partner of Mr. Moustache I can only say "Believe in him, he will fullfill your expectations". He is not only a man, but a miracle, granted as a gift to us all living in this unsafe metropolis. It is pity though that he is not mentioned in any of the guidebooks telling how safe place HK is to travel and live.
That is because Mr. Moustache is protecting us.

Friday I took some booze and nearly passed out in the taxi. We ended up in a place where you only pay once and knock yourself out with free alcohol. They call it open bar but actually it was far from it. There were so crowded that the bar was actually open to the strongest
and most arrogant ones. Maybe because of this fact it was near death experience for me. Maybe I should correct my habits and become more like Mr.Moustache who only saves beautiful women from danger.
I ruined also my shoes because someone had puked black venom on them. If I would be Mr.Moustache the one who had done that would already be six feet under.
We ate at Mr. Wong´s restaurant. Mr. Wong made it definetely clear that we should die out of sloth, one of the seven sins. And also beer was for free, ou thou Mr.Wong who are in heavens...

Mikko Koivisto, my band manager, came also to Hong Kong to make sure that our tour would come true as expectGed. He assured that the tour would be a success even if other members are not going to take part.
So it will a be huge show once again. I am looking forward how the crowd is shouting "Popie,Popie!"(Jiàohuáng) over excited. Mr. Koivisto will be heading immediately after the gig to Thailand where he attends in some kind of sexturism conference. But luckily he promised to
send me the ticketsales as soon as he arrives there. Good Job!

No comments:

Post a Comment